A Lesson in Kindness & Acceptance

One of the major life lessons I want to teach Kaia and Caleb is kindness and acceptance. Be kind to others, help people however and whenever you can and be accepting of all people no matter how they differ from you in appearance, lifestyle or beliefs. Kevin and I are believers in teaching by doing. (Oh boy, have we learned how that really works since Kaia cusses like Betty White now. She knows all the bad words and she’s not afraid to use them. And use them correctly at that. We are working on fixing that little issue.) Anyway, Kevin and I often try to show them that we are kind and accepting of others.


We accept others by not judging people who differ from us. Simple as that. People may believe in different things than we do, they may do things different than we do; they may live different than we do and of course people may look different than we do but none of that changes the way we act around them or treat them. Are there people who will judge us for the way we live, believe, and look? Of course but we stay true to ourselves by accepting them for their beliefs about us anyway. Ah, see the trick is remembering we can’t change the way they see us in their mind and shouldn’t try but we can certainly make sure it doesn’t darken our hearts.

Kevin and I try to show the kids our kindness by of course just being nice. We also do other things like having our “random acts of kindness” at restaurants. (Yes, I know the name doesn’t really make a lot of sense but go with it!) That is when we leave the waiter or waitress with a larger tip than usual with a kind note of thanks and run like heck before they realize it. I used to volunteer (alas I say “used to” because that is something I have not done in a while but plan to pick up again soon) and we donate goods and money to non-profits throughout the year. My favorite story lately happened back in October, months before my diagnosis. On a Saturday afternoon, we went to have a mid afternoon family outing at a local restaurant. It so happened they were having a campaign to raise money for breast cancer awareness. Everything was covered in beautiful pink and there were fantastic signs that read “Big or Small, Save them All!” and “Save Second Base!” The pressure to donate to the cause was minimal if at all but we decided this would be our non-profit of choice for our next donation. So, we donated the amount that would provide a low income woman with no insurance a free mammogram. We also provided our waitress with a “random act of kindness” donation. I had forgotten about that day until one day shortly after I learned I had breast cancer, I open my jewelry box and saw the pink ribbon pin I received from our waitress that day. Seeing that ribbon made my heart smile at the good Karma I was receiving. We had showed our support for “the cause” that day and now friends, family and strangers were showing huge support for us and our new battle. I wear that pin now not only as a symbol of breast cancer awareness but as a reminder to myself of the support that surrounds me.

So why did I feel the need to write and post this? It is because I have realized that I was failing to provide an important part of the above two lessons to my children. It is the part that you have all taught me in the last month. Kevin and I have just been overwhelmed at the acceptance and kindness we have received in the past month. Those words don’t come close to doing our feelings or your acts justice but I don’t think there are words that do. It was over the weekend when I received an email of a fabulous gift that I realized that I haven’t been showing my children that it is ok to be on the side that needs the acceptance and kindness every now and then. You take that help and love, use it to fuel your fight whatever that may be and soon you will be able to pass that help and love on to someone else who needs it. You are all my fuel for this fight and I want you to know that I am not only grateful for your kindness and generosity but for the lessons I can now show my children.

Love to all.