Phase Two - Check

I wanted an update to the blog much sooner than this but I haven’t been feeling that creative lately. I was afraid maybe my creativeness was in my boobs and that I lost it along with my boobs but today, I think I’m getting my mood to write again so maybe that is a bad theory.

I can’t believe the demolition is over! Everything went very well. Below is a short play by play as I remember it but keep in mind there were drugs involved.

We got to the hospital a little before 9 and not too long after that they called me back and started prepping me for surgery. Kevin, my parents, my sister and Kevin’s parents were all there for support. I was back in the pre-op room for about two and a half hours before surgery. They would only allow two people at a time in my room so my posse kept switching out members so they could all have equal time. There were a lot of nervous jokes made and we all tried to keep my sister away from things. She had already made a scene during her entrance into the hospital. She got lost trying to find us (to her credit, I listened to my dad give directions and I don’t think they were very good) and ended up using a nurse to radio in my whereabouts and escort her to the waiting room. I changed into my gown and lovely surgery hat, stretched out on the bed, put my hands behind my head and crossed my outstretched legs and said, “And now we wait.” I was totally serious but apparently that was a very dorky thing to do because Kevin busted out laughing and then proceeded to tell everyone the story as if I had been joking when I did it. Everything was explained very well to us and they told Kevin that they would call him about an hour and a half into the surgery to let him know how things were going but gave him a number to call if he didn’t hear from them. I decided to make sure my parents knew about that number so they would bug him about it until he called (probably five minutes into surgery). Teach him to make fun of me. About fifteen minutes before I was scheduled in the operating room, things started moving very fast: some guy came in to tell me once again how things would go and that the anesthesiologist and surgeon would be in shortly to talk to me. The anesthesiologist came in and told me how things would go. “Would you like something to calm your nerves?” Why yes I would please and make it a double. The surgeon came in and told me how things would go. The lovely lady with the calm me down meds came in and injected me and said she would be back with more right before they wheeled me out. When she walked out of the room I heard my dad ask her if he could have some too. She responded with a very sympathetic, “I wish I could.” It was down to about five minutes before go time and Kevin and Doodle were with me. My dad walked in and Doodle got up to leave but he told her to stay. They were going to break the two person limit rule. Doodle said she would go let my mom come in and my dad said, “No, I tried. She’s not breaking the rules.” Anyone who knows my mom is probably at least smiling right now (I still laugh out loud) because that is so my mom! Not going to break any rules. I remember they came in to wheel me out and that is all I remember until I woke up. They gave me some more calm me down meds and apparently as they wheeled my bed past the waiting room and my family I waved as if I was a beauty contestant in a parade. I don’t remember doing that. Next thing I know I wake up in recovery. Not in too much pain but take the meds they offer anyway. It is a big room with me and one other dude in it. I didn’t have my contacts on and had given Kevin my glasses before surgery so I couldn’t see crap but I heard his voice so I knew it was a dude. I wondered if he could tell what I was in for but then the nurse was on the phone checking on my room and yelled out, “Crystal Saffel, bi-lateral mastectomy. BI-LATERAL MASTECOMY. OK:” Then she turns to me and said, “Sorry I was so loud they couldn’t hear me but good news is your room is ready.” So they wheeled me to my room (I don’t remember the ride over) and my group of supporters were waiting for me already. They had bought me lovely gifts from the gift shop (I heard the waiting area was across from the gift shop and told Kevin it would be a great idea to by me gifts while they waited). The surgeon had told Kevin the surgery went well. It was already time for my parents to head back over to get the kids so they left along with Kevin’s parents. I was super tired and was awoken by nurses coming in to check on me periodically but for the most part got good rest. The rest of the stay went as expected: in and out of sleep, TV watching, nurses, etc. And then armed with pillows and pain killers, I was released around 4 the next day.

I am still pretty sore but mostly tired. VERY tired. I actually can’t believe how darn tired I am. This is actually more taxing than having Kaia and Caleb. My mom has been a wonderful help and I have been able to rest like never before but alas I am still tired! Thursday, I go back to the doctor and will hopefully have these stupid drains out. I will be able to move around more freely then and maybe that will help.

I want to thank everyone once again for the well wishes, texts, prayers, cards, flowers, fruit, food, and support. I just adore my support team. I’ll let you know how Thursday goes and I'll blog more about recovery and such but for now I shall rest. 

Oh, and for those wondering about the poundage of the boobage, be prepared for disappointment. I lost two pounds. Major disappointment.

Love to all.

My Biggest Issue with Breast Cancer

Weight gain! Well, ok, maybe weight gain isn’t my BIGGEST issue with breast cancer but it is up there. 10lbs people. 10 lbs is what I have gained. So that brings me to the question of the day: how much weight will I lose when I lose my girls on Thursday? Haven’t you ever wondered how much your boobs weigh? Come on, I can’t be the only one who has wondered that. So Thursday morning, I will weigh myself and then weigh myself again when I get home Friday. That should sort of tell me how much they weigh. The problem with that is my weight gain hasn’t been in my boobs so I’ll still have some work to do when I can start working out again. I can’t wait for that because I need to be ready to do the Austin Race for the Cure on November 7 (and I need to get rid of this belly so I don’t look 5 months pregnant anymore).

Speaking of the Race for the Cure (such a good segway, don’t you think?), how would you like to join our team, Boobalicious? Don’t want to join, you can donate some dinero. Originally, I set a goal for our team of $500. However, within two hours of posting it on Facebook, we met our goal thanks to two very generous donations. But that doesn’t mean we can’t raise more money! By the way, I am actually going to change the goal to $1000 (oh yes I can do that) but I’m having trouble logging into their site right now. I’ve posted the link below so if you are interested in joining or donating please do! Any amount of a donation is much appreciated!

I know I don’t have to ask but when you wake up Thursday morning, say a little prayer or send good thoughts, whatever it is that you do, for us. Us being my family and the medical team responsible for my surgery Thursday.

Love to all!


http://austin.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/AUS_AustinAffiliate?pg=team&fr_id=1985&team_id=140563

Guess What I'm Not Doing Today?

That’s right, I am NOT sitting in the infusion room today being healed with poisons! YAY me! It feels very strange. I keep thinking, “I am supposed to be somewhere today, what did I forget…”. Then I remember that I would normally be stuck in a chair for about three hours. My fist free Wednesday in 12 weeks.

Well, a week from now I will be going through my list and running around getting last minute things ready for my surgery. Yesterday, I spent the day with my nephew and when I got a work related email and he asked me if surgery was my work. I guess he’s heard people talk so much about my surgery that he thought that’s what I did for a job. It’s funny and sad all at the same time. Just like the book I bought for the kids, “Sammy’s Mommy Has Cancer” makes me happy and sad at the same time. I love that there are resources out there like that book and it has certainly helped Kaia understand some things (by the way, she says it like a 90 year old woman would, “Sammy’s mommy has THE cancer”) but at the same time I am sadden that the word cancer even has to be in their vocabulary. Six year old nephews and 2 year old daughters shouldn’t know those words. Nobody should know those words.

So off I go to spend my first chemo free Wednesday. I thought maybe I would celebrate with a pedicure but then realized that would mean being stuck in a chair again! I’ll save the pedi for another day…

Love to all.

Ring My Be-e-ell, Ring My Bell (Now everyone can have that song in their head)

Whoohooo! What a fabulous day!! My last chemo treatment! The end of Phase I is complete! It was an unbelievable experience. I knew of course, Kevin and my sister were going to be there to share in this great milestone, but as I awoke from a Benadryl stupor I saw a cowboy hat out of the corner of my eye. Dad? Is that my Dad? Holy crap, it is! And that cute little woman? My mom! And that giant purse? That’s Martha’s giant purse! My aunt Martha! (HaHa, sorry Martha, couldn’t resist, I wanted in on the teasing.) I can’t even explain the shock and complete happiness I felt when I saw them! (And the shock when I learned my sister had known for over a week and hadn’t told me.) That just made this day so much better! Watching the drip of my final Taxol was like watching a pot waiting for it to boil. D….R….I…P. Slow! We were all so anxious for it to be over and we just kept looking up at the bag of necessary evil. Finally the last drop dripped into the IV and I was done. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. So I just laughed no need in making everyone else cry which I know would have happened!!! I was unhooked, everyone grabbed a handful of confetti to throw at me and my mom was handed my diploma. (I will say, I have a Master’s Degree and this was by far harder to earn!) Confetti was thrown and the nurse said “Don’t forget to ring that bell.” Everyone laughed as if to say “Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little head nursey nurse, that’s not going to happen.” We gathered up our stuff and my group of paparazzi cheerleaders followed me to the bell, cameras in hand ready to catch the moment. Kevin had the video camera and said, “go”. I reached up to ring that bell I had spoken so much about, ready to hear that well deserved ding, ding, ding and the eruption of applause in the infusion room…and guess what happened? Somehow, some way, I managed to miss the gosh darn bell. Had the ringer in hand but missed the bell. Yep. But it wouldn’t be me if that didn’t happen. I got it the second time though! And that felt great!

We took our party to the parking garage where we continued to laugh and hug and take pictures. I decided it would be a great idea to do a cartwheel! Keep in mind, I have never been able to do a cartwheel even as a kid. And, as everyone learned today, I still can’t. But it was fun anyway. After I embarrassed everyone with my failed attempt at a cartwheel, we journeyed on to lunch at one of my favorite places, Jorge’s. My bro-in-law Jim and nephew Nolan met us there. When Nolan got out of the truck he had a big smile on his face and was holding his hands behind his back. As he walked up to me, he took his hands out behind his back and handed me a dozen pink roses and said, “Happy last chemo, Aunt Turtle!” Oh, melt my heart why don’t you. How I made it through that without crying the world may never know. That owl guy can add that to his how many licks and tootsie roll pop file. We made our way inside and sat down to a great joyous lunch. Back out in the parking lot, I was also given a box of brownie bites (which I have eaten already thank you very much mean steroids) that Jim and Nolan had gotten me to go with the roses. Hugs, kisses, and “thank yous” just didn’t seem enough to tell everyone how much I appreciate all of their support today and always. But, I did do a cartwheel for them earlier. Everyone piled into their vehicles and headed home in different directions and while I was very sad to see everyone go, my heart was filled with love and joy of the knowledge that I have some incredibly loving, wonderful people in my life and because of their support and love, I will make it through this with flying colors. Add the morphine from surgery, maybe even flying colors and unicorns if I’m lucky!) I am one special gal…special in the love I am surrounded by.

 

So Phase I has ended and I am ready to move on to Phase II, The Demolition. Which by the way, I did schedule today from my infusion chair as soon as my oncologist gave me the go ahead. The surgery will me August 26 at 11am. That gives me two weeks to rest my body and prepare for the big day.
Once again I want to thank everyone for their love, support and prayers. I can’t express it enough. Love to all.
By the way, this is what is written on the plaque below the bell and on the diploma I received:

YOUR TODAYS AND TOMORROWS

For all the time that has passed since you first came to us,
For all the fears and doubts you have experience along the way,
For all the days you felt so badly and had to sacrifice things you wanted or needed to do.
Looking back and looking ahead,
TODAY is the day that you have been working toward.
From all of us to you,
May all your TOMORROWS be what is in your heart and dreams.
We celebrate today with you.

CONGRATULATIONS!
The staff at Texas Oncology Cancer Center

 

Phase II...The Demolition

I met with the surgeon today to discuss what I call Phase Two of my treatment, the demolition of my boobies. The bilateral mastectomy. She is the same one who performed the biopsy, placed my port and tested and removed my lymph nodes so I already know her. In fact, she is the one who called to tell me I had cancer. Despite that, I think she is wonderful. She explained the process and recovery to Kevin and I so now we have a better understanding of what to expect. And of course I took my little pad and pen in with all of my questions. Surgery will be scheduled sometime after my last chemo treatment on August 11. As long as my WBC is good we can schedule it as soon after chemo as I want if my oncologists agrees. My WBC has been in the threes since I started Taxol and ended the AC treatments which the surgeon said would be fine but last week it was 1.4 which would not be ok due to risk of infection. Hopefully they will go back up and stay there. I would like to move on to Phase Two as quickly as possible. The quicker I can get that done the quicker I can start radiation, Phase Three.


She is doing what is called a skin sparing mastectomy. She will go in and remove all of the tissue from my breasts but will leave the skin. This won’t look pretty but in the long run it will be better for Phase Four Reconstruction…Operation New Boobies. I choose the same hospital that I delivered Kaia and Caleb in because I know they have a Frullati Cafe in their cafeteria and I love their smoothies! That’s a good reason to choose a hospital right? She said to expect an overnight stay in the hospital. The pain will be so bad that I wouldn’t be able to control it at home so they will keep me to give me morphine. All right, all right, all right. Smoothies and morphine. Then they will send me home with some pain pills and of course those lovely drains. If you recall I had a drain when my lymph nodes were removed. For this surgery I will probably have at least two. I hate the drains. They will stay in from a week to three weeks. Restrictions are no driving or heavy lifting for a week. She said to rest but still go out and do things like shop and have dinner. I swear to you she said shop. My sister thought I made that part up but Kevin was there to hear it all! I have a witness. Then by week two I can start doing more. I just have to be careful if I still have the drains especially with the kids and I still have to take it somewhat easy. Once I recover from surgery I can start radiation, Phase Three. My wonderful mom is coming up to help us out during my surgery and recovery which will be a huge help. All though I’m not looking forward to having no boobies, I am ready to get on with the next phase. I don’t meet with my oncologists this week so I will have to wait until the 11th to talk to her about her thoughts on scheduling. She told me when I first started that I shouldn’t have to wait long after chemo to have the surgery. Come one counts, don’t fail me now.

Love to all.